Daily Struggles

A struggling mother, yep that's me. I struggle pretty much everyday with well to be honest a little bit of everything. Anger, selfishness, pride, laziness, a wrong heart, a bad attitude and everything inbetween. But in these struggles I know that I will persevere through them, because I want to glorify God and the only way I can is if I get control over these struggles. And I have assurance that one day I will have them under control and not to perfection but as close to it as possible. I want to take them out of the hands from which they are being given to me everyday and hand them over to my God. When he hands them to me I want to smile and joyfully in his face just bring them straight to God with no hesitation. I try in my daily life to think of the battle that I am constantly in and to remember that there is one who so desperately wants my soul and is trying diligently to conquer me through my struggles. But I pray that I will also remember that Christ gives me nothing that I can't handle, He only allows the evil one to test me with what He knows that I can handle, and the only reason I can handle these is because He gives me strength. He gives me strength in so many ways some days it is through His word, some the encouragement of others, and sometimes just knowing that others are struggling with the same things that I am. I am reminded of what Paul says in:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficiant for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I love that verse, how amazing and humble, that in my weaknesses His power is made Perfect and wow how His grace is sufficiant. Thank you God for your grace that flows like a river. I know I will never be relieved completely of these burdens, He will though give me the strength to carry them and He will show His strength through my weaknness. It is splendid how He works through me to bring Himself glory! That is what I want to do in my everyday life is to bring Him glory and to be His instrument. Join me in being an instrument of the Lord, let's completely surrender ourselves to God and let Him do what He pleases with us even when it goes against what we feel. Let us walk daily with God and really listen to what He tells us to do so that He will recieve the glory through our obedience to Him.

1 Timothy 2:20-22
In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Have a blessed day in the Lord~

Gloomy turned Bright

So I am in my living room folding towells and thoughts are just running all around in my mind. They are coming so fast I hardly have time to process them. I feel like that episode of I Love Lucy when she is at the candy factory, stuffing her face with all those chocolate candies but they are just coming at her to fast, she is just overwhelmed with the amount of candies and the speed they are coming. But the funny thing is that when I come in here and sit down at the computer ready to write nothing comes to my mind. All the things that were running around in my head earlier I can't remember a single one of them now.

So, I guess I will just reflect on the day; it started out depressing and gloomy for me. I don't know what it was I just felt really down cast. Whenever I feel gloomy it is good for me to get out of the house and do something fun, so I packed up Eli and Kai and decided to go to McDonald's and then go eat at a friends house. But of course all of our friends were gone so we just ended up sitting outside of one our friends apartments and eating our lunch. It wasn't exciting fun but at least we were out of the house! So then after that we went to Walmart to do our weekly grocery shopping. I usually have a list and a calculator but this week I just kind of winged it, I didn't feel like being in bondage of a budget and list. It was fun and relaxed and I exactly felt pretty good about the numbers on the screen when we checked out. After we packed up the car with the groceries and were on our way out of the parking lot, and I am so exhausted and I am just so thankfu that it is over!, Eli asked me a question that comes out of no where,"momma" he says. "Yes" I said tiredly. "What does Malvation mean?" What, I am thinking trying to figure out what word he is trying to say and the only one I can think of is Salvation but I am like why would he be asking me that. "Salvation?" I ask. "Yeah, S-alvation, what does it mean?" I ask him where did you here that? He told me to start the song in the cd player over. So I did and in the song there are a lot of words that I am thinking why doesn't he want to know what that word means? Why did he find salvation the interesting word rather than these other words that came before. Hmmmm how do I put this in child like terms. And I know that I am going to mess up the meaning and I did but I say, "Um, well, when one day we will all pass away and when we do if we have obeyed God then we will have salvation, heaven."I added"It is a wonderful place, where Jesus lives." "Oh, okay it is a good place?", "Yes". Then he asked me to start the song over again and while we were listening to it he asks "What does Salvation mean again?" "It means after we have obeyed God....", "Oh, okay, I remember." I contued".....it is after we pass away and.....","Thats okay momma we don't have to talk about it anymore, I know what it means." Now I know that this definition that I gave may not be exactly right but he put me on the spot and now I am not even sure I know what it means. No, I do I just didn't know how to explain it to him so he would understand. Anyway, this was the highlight of my day and after this conversation I was uplifted. I was just kind of astounded at the thoughts that my little 4 year old is thinking in his head. He is always asking us questions like this. It is amazing to see the seed that you planted in your child starting to grow and branch out. I am so thankful that God gives me these little blessings to renew my mind of what my ministry is and how extremely rewarding it is going to be after all of the hard work is done tending to my little gardens!

After this we went home relaxed and then met with some good friends of ours. Eli and Kai got to swim and just have a blast, while I got to enjoy some meaningful conversation and laughter with a friend in Christ. Eli had a t-ball game at 6:15 and when he came home his daddy said he did awesome and usually he doesn't do anything but stand out in the field and pick flowers but today he chased after the ball and even got one! Right now he is drawing pictures of crabs, smiley faces, his name and other silly things that only he knows what they are. What a day, a day that started out gloomy and downcast has been turned completely around into a day full of sunshine and a beautiful rainbow! Thank you God for your wonderful promises and the work that you do in our lives, I love you and give you all the glory!

Have a blessed day in the Lord.

Sunday

Sunday is always a pretty stressful day for us. I always have the best intentions the night before. Every Saturday night I set my alarm for 6:00 am with the intentions of getting up and starting the coffee, making a good breakfast, getting everyones clothes ready for church, eating breakfast, get dressed and have time to pray and clean up before 9:00 am class time. In reality my alarm goes off at 6:00 and I pust snooze as many times as it takes till it is 7:00 by then I figure we better get up or we are not going to make it. I forget about the coffee idea and instead go sit on the couch to watch the one eye monster! About 15 minutes later I start getting everyone up to eat breakfast, cereal, and then we all sit and eat for about 15-30 minutes. It is well 8:00 and no body has even started to get dressed yet, the thoughts of are we going to be able to make it, should we skip class run through my mind but I push past them into determination of making it to class. By 8:50 we are all almost ready, all we have left are the finishing touches but for 4 people that is more than 10 minutes worth. So it is 9:10 and we are finally rushing out the door with the thoughts of better late then not going at all. On the way the words I say every Sunday morning "Next Sunday we are going to get up earlier! This is ridiculous!"

I am thinking wow haven't we missed the whole point of what Sunday is all about and doesn't God deserve more than this? Yes, of course no question. So why, I wonder do we continue to do this Sunday after Sunday after Sunday! Selfishness and more selfishness, this is why and something that I have been dealing with lately. How selfish of me to lay in bed and keep pushing the snooze button the only person I am thinking about is ME, when I should be thinking about CHRIST my savior and Lord. This is HIS day, not mine. Every Sunday morning my mindframe should be today is HIS and me and my family will Honor HIM today and surrender this day completely to HIM. He deserves for us to, on this one day give everything in our hearts and minds to HIM. Sunday should be a day when we look at everything around us and everything we are doing as a gift to the Lord and a gift from the Lord. I know that everyday should be this way, but on Sunday, the Lords Day I think we should really soak it all up and really give thanks to HIM by recognizing HIM in everything. I suggest that Sunday should not be thought of as a drudgery day full of things to do and people to see but as a day of full of God's sunlight. It should be the Friday in the week, the sunshine after the rain, not just the day before the dreaded Monday. I know that a lot of times that is how I think of Sunday. I encourage us to submit this day to the Lord by enjoying it in Him by praising Him with love and adortion. Let's look forward to Sunday as much as Friday. Let's remember Christ on the cross, HIS blood, God's love for us that HE gave HIS son for us. How about we give HIM thanks all day with joy and love in our hearts. I think we can do that, and I know that He deserves that and much more like letting it spill over into the week.

Ephesians 1:3

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.